Moral injury is a boy being raised on high speed modern internet porn he hates but can’t stop looking at, being told he likes it and it’s his fault. Oh and don’t shame your abuser. They’re to be praised publicly.
I'm sorry it happened to your son, dad and brother and they had to bury the shame too, becuase they have no way to articulate their objection if every avenue to healing is cut off by gaslighting. "porn is harmless", "it's no big deal", its "free speech" "don't slut-shame" "parental controls"; "dont judge" "be sex-positive", "its mens fault"....barf
Rebecca, I hear you. Moral injury isn’t just about what happened—it’s about the break it causes inside, the way it pulls at everything we thought was solid. The hardest part isn’t even the guilt or the shame; it’s the isolation, the feeling of being severed from who we were before.
For me, the way through hasn’t been about fixing or erasing anything. It’s been about sitting with it, understanding what brought me here, and letting go of what was never mine to carry. That’s not easy work, AND it’s possible.
I put every single moral, belief, and value I encountered within me over the past four years on a pedestal, examined them 360°, traced their roots in me, in my family, and in history. After that, I rejected more than 90% as outdated, not mine, or misaligned with who I am. It’s a tedious process, requiring deep self-reflection, relentless self-inquiry, and the courage to redefine what is truly mine and what isn’t.
"Is this WHO I AM or is this HOW THEY WANTED ME TO BE?" That was the hardest question and the most difficult distinction.
I appreciate you bringing this forward. It matters.
Moral injury is a boy being raised on high speed modern internet porn he hates but can’t stop looking at, being told he likes it and it’s his fault. Oh and don’t shame your abuser. They’re to be praised publicly.
I’m sorry that happened to you. You deserved to be safe and cared for.
I am sorry it happened to your son too! Serious.
I am also sorry every doctor, therapist and pediatrician has been silent for 20 years.
I'm sorry it happened to your son, dad and brother and they had to bury the shame too, becuase they have no way to articulate their objection if every avenue to healing is cut off by gaslighting. "porn is harmless", "it's no big deal", its "free speech" "don't slut-shame" "parental controls"; "dont judge" "be sex-positive", "its mens fault"....barf
Rebecca, I hear you. Moral injury isn’t just about what happened—it’s about the break it causes inside, the way it pulls at everything we thought was solid. The hardest part isn’t even the guilt or the shame; it’s the isolation, the feeling of being severed from who we were before.
For me, the way through hasn’t been about fixing or erasing anything. It’s been about sitting with it, understanding what brought me here, and letting go of what was never mine to carry. That’s not easy work, AND it’s possible.
I put every single moral, belief, and value I encountered within me over the past four years on a pedestal, examined them 360°, traced their roots in me, in my family, and in history. After that, I rejected more than 90% as outdated, not mine, or misaligned with who I am. It’s a tedious process, requiring deep self-reflection, relentless self-inquiry, and the courage to redefine what is truly mine and what isn’t.
"Is this WHO I AM or is this HOW THEY WANTED ME TO BE?" That was the hardest question and the most difficult distinction.
I appreciate you bringing this forward. It matters.